You know those days where you want to do something worthwhile but, at the same time, don’t feel like doing much of anything? You check Facebook only to find yourself in the same position hours later, broken from your reverie only because your back hurts? Yeah, I’ve been having a lot of those days lately.

I’ve seen this is especially common in creative endeavors. It’s easy to compare yourself to picture-perfect lives on Instagram or the distant hopes of Pinterest perfection. Many times, these thoughts stop me from creating at all because I just know I’ll never be as good as anyone else. Then I get the feeling that while I want to be productive, I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. If I try, I’ll just fail.

Lately, I’ll sit down to write and find myself wasting time watching YouTube instead. I’ll berate myself and open up a page to write only to stare at the blank page in frustration. I let my negative thoughts pull me into their gravity until eventually, I feel like I’ll never be able to climb out again.

I’m willing to be almost everyone feels like this from time to time. We call this being in a rut. I’ll call a rut here any negative cycle you feel trapped in.

Regardless of why you find yourself in a rut, we don’t like being down for long. We want to bounce back with more energy than ever, but sadly, life guarantees we’ll face hills and valleys. While it’s perfectly normal to have peaks and valleys, it’s not healthy to be in the valleys for long periods without any hills in sight. When the valleys stretch out of view, here’s what I do to boost myself out of the rut. There are many more ways to get out of ruts, but I wanted to keep this as simple as possible because of the obvious pressure we are already facing.

Am I in a rut?

Before going any further, we need to understand whether we are in a rut or there is some other cause for life’s pressures. For the purpose of this post, I’m defining “being in a rut” as being trapped in a negative cycle. This could be when you tell yourself you can’t create anything worthwhile, causing you to avoid creating, further emphasizing the thought that you can’t create anything valuable. The cycle repeats over and over.

Another simple rut you could be in is when you go through the same daily routine, never stepping out of your comfort zone. This deceptively negative cycle at first glance looks great. I mean, you never step outside your comfort zone meaning you feel confident each day because you know what you’re doing. This is negative, though, because, in this cycle, you’ll never experience personal growth.

There are a million different versions of a rut you could be in right now. Can you relate to these ruts, though? What is the rut you are facing right now that inspired you to click on this post?

To determine if you’re in a rut or not, let’s think about your life at the moment. How many of the following statements are true for you?

• I am more tired than usual.
• I feel unfulfilled.
• I dread my routine.
• I feel unmotivated.
• I feel like I’m missing something in my life.

If two or more of these statements apply to your current life, you’re probably in a rut.

Please keep in mind, many of these symptoms are similar to clinical depression. Depression is an extension of these negative cycles in length and severity. I don’t in any way pretend to be adequate to give advice for clinical depression, and I encourage you to talk with a doctor if you are seeking advice. I can only give my own experience and hope I can inspire others.

Fill your buckets

If I am in a rut, I find that, typically, I have been neglecting a certain area of my life. I forget to take care of myself, spend too much time at work and not enough with family, or push off hobbies because I don’t think they are necessary.

I look at each area as a bucket that needs to remain filled for me to be happy. If any drop below a certain level, I need to focus on raising the level of that bucket.

For the purpose of this blog post, I’ve listed three of the areas that are most commonly neglected. Feel free to also work on improving other areas as they may apply in your life.

Where are your buckets at? Rate yourself from 1 to 5 on each of the following sections.

How is your self-care?

This includes sleep, food, and exercise to name a few. It’s easy to get caught up in life’s responsibilities and forget about caring for ourselves. At other times, this bucket could be overflowing as we procrastinate work. Write a few thoughts about how this bucket looks at the moment.

How is your social life?

Do you spend time with family and friends? Do you find yourself scrolling for hours through social media and ignoring real life interactions?

We are social animals. I discovered this when I first moved to Chicago. I had just married my husband and moved downtown. As a suburbs girl, the city seemed completely foreign. To make things worse, I struggled as an extrovert with the transition from having five, noisy, college roommates to just one roommate (who just happened to be my love). The house was silent for hours at a time while I worked from home and Spencer in an office building. I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into a rut. I was missing human interaction.

Finally, I decided I had to get out of this rut. I had to reach out to kindle new friendships. Even though I’m naturally extroverted, I doubted myself because of how long it had been since I had last met new people. I had to step outside of my self-sealed bubble and reach out to others in my community. Slowly, I became involved in my community through my church. While, I’m still climbing out of this rut, increasing the level of my social bucket went a long way toward that progress.

Did any commonalities to my situation come to you as you read?

How is your level of fun?

Often we neglect hobbies and relaxation thinking we aren’t working hard enough. Especially in American culture, it seems if we aren’t working every waking moment, we aren’t making any headway. This isn’t true.

I can work for hours on projects when it seems like I have an endless to-do list. When my husband comes home from work, I have to force myself to stop working and care for myself. Taking time to talk with Spencer and eat dinner together helps. As well, I choose to try new restaurants or check out a nearby museum to fill my bucket and energy. I needed to give myself time to enjoy myself. You’d be surprised how much more you can accomplish when you feel energized by worthwhile hobbies.

Fill your buckets: actions

There are limitless ways to fill your bucket. Try something new or something you haven’t tried in a while. Below, I’ve listed a few activities to fill your bucket. Looking at which areas of your life need the most care:

1. Choose one activity you can do in the next 5 minutes.
2. Choose one activity you can do for 15 minutes sometime today.

Self-care:

• Nap
• Eat a healthy meal
• Do yoga
• Run
• Hike
• Take a long shower
• Journal
• Sit in silence
• Stretch
• Aromatherapy
• Drink water
• Compliment yourself
• Wash your face with a delicious smelling soap
• Clean your room
• Declutter your desk
• Read
• Listen to your breathing
• Hug yourself
• Take a bubble bath

Social:

• Call a friend
• Meet someone for lunch
• Unplug
• Join a club
• Give a sincere compliment
• Meet someone new
• Call family
• Serve someone
• Smile at everyone you meet
• Unfollow negative people on social media

Fun:

• Paint
• Write
• Journal
• Draw
• Hike
• Visit a museum
• Try a new restaurant
• Sing
• See a new movie
• Listen to uplifting music
• Color
• DIY something
• Play a board game

Like I said, there are loads more of fulfilling activities. Focus first on completing just two activities first (5 min and 15 min), but note that you will probably need to do many more depending on how low the level of your bucket it. For the next week, try doing one of these things per day in the bucket that most needs filled.

Find purpose

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“—so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

Lewis Carroll

When I find myself in a rut, more often than not, I find that I’ve forgotten my purpose. The reason I feel like I’m spinning in circles is that I don’t know where to go. Like Alice, living without purpose is like wandering in a forest hoping to get somewhere. You’ll wander and end up somewhere, but you’re almost guaranteed to end up somewhere you never wanted to be.

Purpose is what propels us forward in a specific direction. With purpose, even if we have to take a few detours, we’ll always end up where we were aiming. Or, we may find that our direction changes from time to time, leading us to even better pastures.

A couple of months ago, I posted about finding your life purpose (ikigai). I showed 3 simples to finding purpose in life. If you read this and know your life purpose, you only have to remind yourself of that purpose at times when you are in a rut. Sometimes it helps to make a vision board or brainstorm a plan to continue achieving your life purpose. However, many times we never knew our purpose or it change since we last examined it. If you don’t know your life purpose, check out that post about finding your life purpose (ikigai). Whether you know your life purpose or not, though, there is still something you can do today to find the purpose you are missing.

We can find purpose in each day.

Each day holds endless possibilities of directions we can go. If you don’t know your life purpose, focus on the simple purpose of becoming a better version of you. Here are some questions to ponder as you consider how you can become a better version of you.

1. When do you feel most fulfilled?
2. What is one thing I’m looking forward to in the next month?
3. What is one thing I can improve in the next three months?

If you feel tired, unfulfilled, and unmotivated – if you dread your routine and feel like something is missing – look for purpose. So many times we look for happiness without realizing that true joy comes from finding purpose in what you do. One of the most surefire ways to get out of a rut is to move toward achieving your purpose.

Our thoughts trap up in negative cycles more than the truth ever could. It’s our perception of truth that holds us back from potential.

Create an action plan

Now, it’s time to act.

Today, we looked at ways to fill up our buckets to maintain a life balance.

1. What is one activity you will do in the next 5 minutes?
2. What is one activity you will do for 15 minutes sometime today?

Next, we looked at finding purpose. You can check out my blog post, answer the three questions in your journal, or meditate on your purpose. Then you must act.

What will you do to become better today?

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