Coming home from vacation, I should be the most relaxed I’ve been in months, but instead all I feel is anxious. Home is filled with a long list of things to do after a week away. Tasks have piled up, and although I tried to get some done before my trip, the list is massive. It stares at me, seeming to challenge me to a contest of wills. Thinking of all the work ahead of me, I’d say it’s winning.
Life can be brutal. We take on so much, and we end up with lists longer than we could ever accomplish. But, the pressure to do and be everything makes us march onward relentlessly until we break down.
So, how can you de-stress when you feel completely overwhelmed? Here are five steps to get back in control.
1. Pause for 5 minutes
The relentlessness of our march to “productivity” wears me down. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I have to take a step back and drop whatever I’m doing. I turn off my computer, leave the room, silence my phone, and just sit. With a brain going 24/7, I have to give it a break.
During these five minutes, I give myself completely to my thoughts
It is sometimes helpful to ponder about what is really bothering you. It may be helpful to simply let yourself be in the moment and ignore all thoughts of never-ending to-do lists fade away.
Giving yourself a few minutes to realign each day can make a world of difference. Sometimes, these five minutes are enough for me to feel the anxiousness dissipate. If you still feel a bit overwhelmed, go ahead and move on to the next step.
2. Do something you love
Chances are, one of the many reasons you are overwhelmed is that you haven’t taken enough time to do what you love. It is mentally exhausting to go through your day doing what you hate. That could mean you hate your job or your life simply lacks what you love, filling your time in with mediocre tasks.
Before we get to making lists and getting stuff done, take a moment to do something you love. It may be just enough to recharge your battery and make you relaxed again.
Here are some ideas. Complete 1-3 of these (or your own) before moving on to the next step.
- Painting
- Yoga
- Running
- Take a walk around your neighborhood
- Bake a dessert
- Journal
- Read a favorite book
- Listen to music
- Listen to a podcast
- Go hiking
- Pick up an old hobby you used to love (ie: crocheting, sculpting, woodwork, writing)
- Get a
massage - Call an old friend
- Find a club nearby
- Take a long bath/shower
- Go swimming
- Get an aromatherapy diffuser and make your house smell good
- Organize ONE kitchen cabinet (and only if you actually love organizing things)
- Drive to a cute downtown area and buy some ice cream
- Take a nap
- Create
- Play a board game
- ________________ (insert your own activity)
3. Make a list
You should be feeling a bit better now. Now it’s time to face your problems head-on. You’ve got this.
As you can see from the heading, we’re making
Begin by listing everything that is overwhelming you. This will most likely be tasks or responsibilities. If it is fear or something else abstract, write that down as well.
The purpose of this list is to put everything in front of you in a tangible form. With it written, it no longer feels like each thought has multiplied by a thousand.
Looking at that list, circle the top 3-5 things that are most important. From everything that isn’t circled, what can you get rid of? Are there are lot of projects or responsibilities that can be gotten rid of completely?
If you came to this article because you are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things to do, this is the most helpful step. Slash that list. Get rid of as much as you can. What do you actually have time for? Delegate what you can’t bear to just delete. If you have community responsibilities that are taking way more time than you’d like, see if another member can take some of those on.
Your worth is not determined by the length of your to-do list.
If you’re feeling a bit ambitious here, check out my blog post, 13 steps to completely declutter your schedule. This post walks through the method I follow to organize my schedule to achieve my dream life as well as which tasks to delete or delegate.
4. Do one small thing
Looking at the list you’ve created, it may look monstrous still. One action that eases my stress is to check off a task and see progress. Seeing that I’m actually doing something shows me that I’ve got this under control. I know I can conquer each task just
Pick one small task on your list. If you don’t see any that take 15 minutes or less, break up a larger one into a few steps. Now, take a breath. You’ve got this. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start. This article can wait.
5. Remember: No one is perfect
Seriously. No one is perfect. We are all flawed human beings even if we somehow expect ourselves to be the perfect spouse, employee, student, dancer, volunteer, and/or community member. With all these
Even if they are looking at us (probably to figure out how we have it all together and they don’t), people are generally more forgiving of other’s flaw than their own. Think about it. That friend of yours that seems so perfect most likely thinks that she is falling short. Everyone thinks
So, relax.
You’ve got this.
When you complete all these steps, let me know how it went in the comments below. Sharing your experiences helps others who may feel how you do.
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